The depths of my discretion.

Sometimes when you wake up in the middle of the night you're actually being roused by the surfacing of a brilliant idea from your subconscious or even unconscious mind. These sorts of moments shouldn't be ignored, as they're all too rare.

I live for these moments, I'll always get out of bed. Oh I've had a couple of times when I woke, bolt upright in bed with an earth-shattering revelation which I should have written down, and chose to go back to sleep with instead. Consequently I have carried those ideas back down into my usual coma-like slumber, never to be marvelled at by the waking world.

Unfortunately this occasion, despite being 11:30pm on the sunshine coast, is not such an occasion. This is just me not being able to sleep very well and deciding to disturb Rani and myself by typing something up on the dressing table. An odd choice of position for a laptop, especially one which is to be typed upon.

There's a knocking on the window which keeps repeating. Rani isn't waking up because of it or my typing which is probably a good sign. Speaking of good signs, last night I engaged myself in thought and dialogue (also involving the aforementioned Rani) about plans for my life. I think the plans which eventually became the deciding ones encompassed a little more than 10 years. There was a time when such forward-thinking would have scared the living daylights out of me, but instead I handled it with the ease of talking about what I'm going to get up to next weekend. Such determination to put stumbling blocks like long term goals into my future smacks of either supreme self-confidence, or an inherently foolhardy nature.

Thankfully I believe myself not to be a foolhardy person, otherwise I could seriously undermine my perception of myself and consequently nosedive into a period of low self-esteem and/or depression. I'm not going to do this because lately I've been nothing but supremely happy; something I attribute to two things. I have never seen a better time to be alive, and I have surrounded myself with many beautiful people who are a joy to behold.

I guess you could say I have a good feeling about this, my life must be going well? You could. Its either that or I'm in some way delusional. There are some things I keep forgetting about but those are more things like making sure there's always milk in the fridge, not the mark of a traditional sociopath or psychotic. I don't even think that I'm in any way disturbed or unhinged, despite my occasional proclivity to irrational anger and illogical thought processes.

To conclude, now that I've stroked my ego into believing there's no reason why I can't sleep with good conscience, I'm feeling an irresistible pull towards the bed. :)

I'm covering new ground...

Well, today has been a long series of embarassing moments interspersed by parts of extreme pleasure. The contrasting levels of feeling I'm trying to display here is something akin to either being poked with a burning stick, and electrial jolts straight to the brain's pleasure centres.

I'm going out again for awhile tonight, as I am supposed to be doing tomorrow night (the plan was to start out at Saint's n Sinners with their $5 Sunday cocktails and then move onto Fluffy at Family later on). Unfortunately I've left ancksunamun alone in her house for the night, she is too sick with tonsillitis to go out. I wish this wasn't the case. :(

I wish I could keep a cat sometimes, in the apartment it would be nice if we could have like a really old Birman cat that just sat around all day and liked crawling onto people's laps to be petted. That'd probably lift the mood a hell of a lot. :)