Awhile ago when I met some lovely people who are now my friends, I asked someone close to me why these "new people" were interested in getting to know me. I asked out of fear that they were interested in me as a novelty and that after the initial fascination had worn I would be cast aside.
However this wasn't the case, and some words were said which have stuck with me: "They're interested in you because of your courage, calmness, and ability to cope with life." and happily this was an accurate assessment of their motivations.
I am motivated also, and at various times throughout the years I've had people who've gotten to know me express "The courage it must take to lead your life!" and other interesting lines. One of the particularly biting insights levelled at me over a decade ago was "I fear you're a hate crime waiting to happen." and this has stuck with me in the same sense as anyone who's worn a uniform (and thus been seen to live with danger) will know they stick out. However, after watching YouTube and seeing commentary on videos like "Sharia Comes To Britain" which, although well-considered, failed to take into account that if there is a policy of legislative-level decision to be taken on whether more or less violence ought to be sought within any community--the only acceptable decisive route is the active discouragement of violence. It's not particularly courageous to avoid conflict while saying "eventually, the most exemplary philosophy will be most robust" but if you consider worse examples as being more subject to entropy this is certainly the case.
So, it's neither fear nor courage which compels me. What I do, in the most basic sense, is entirely natural. I exist the way I do because there is no other possible way. Do we question that plants grow towards sunlight, or accept that they do because that is part of the way they exist, and instead ask why they do it so well?
Sometimes, when faced with people who find some kind of awe at that realisation, I feel quite ignorant in the face of their experience of reality. There are many kinds of ignorance. The most offensive being the wilful sort. There is the basest ignorant state of following your desires without examining them, and many writers before me have ranted at length about the futility of living "an unexamined life", but feeling ignorant is just the beginnings of burgeoning wisdom. We strive for wisdom unconsciously, when we ask ourselves "What was I trying to gain?" especially following actions we're ashamed of (such as my conduct in my previous entry).