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If you tried really hard, perhaps then you could be as close to perfect as it were possible to be, and then one would finally have achieved the love which they deserve. Maybe?
You should be so lucky.
Most of the deep soul-searching happens when in certain situations people start asking themsleves whether they actually deserve love. While this raises many comples issues on its own, its usually the root of all the bad feeling and insecurity about interpersonal issues. Values of self worth all tend to get questioned as soon as you pop the internal question "Do I deserve love?"
Well, the tree-hugging hippy answer is "Well of course you do!", but if we're going to be serious for a moment, and discount that the goddess which calls for an honouring of all that she has created through gaia and who's call to love each other hums directly through your DNA and other mechanisms, well, lets be serious.
If you're asking yourself this question specifically then there's a chance that the answer could possibly be simply "No." (the band Custard immortalised these words in their song "Girls Like That").
Remember, the lord helps those who help themselves, and its impossible to help yourself unless you're completely honest with yourself... so if the answer to "Do I deserve love?" is a big fat whopping "Yes! Yeah baby! Every day at 5 in the morning, and breakfast in bed after!" -- stop kidding yourself. Go have a drink, calm down, and come back to this thought.
If the answer is an ashamed scared squeaky little "No." that has you cowering in the dark away from any other living person, well then you're on the right track!
Ask then "Why do I expect other people to love me when I don't really deserve love?" well, why indeed? It could be becasue other people are entirely stupid and will love anything as long as its a pretty specimen of... something or other. Or maybe they're just purely dumb and it has no bearing on you whatsoever.
But then again, if people really have the capacity to be that dumb (and they do, even if not on the general basis that I'm implying here), why should anyone care if they're loved or not by people, the bain of every misanthrope's existence? So to continue along this circular train of thought, it might be useful if you're in this state to apply the same circular logic to other areas of your life, say... "I shall get drunk, becasue drunk is the thing to get!"
Which seems to be perfectly sensible when you're in this frame of mind... so; drink up! Have another one! Sure, whatever... gidoff.
So, when you're struggling out of bed and have finished praying to the porcelain god, driving the porcelain bus, etc. Crawl your sorry arse up onto somewhere you can look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, look yourself directly in the eye and ask, in sluggish slurred furry-tongued retarded hangover-speak "How much love do I deserve right now?" Don't bother wiping the drool off your chin, or any of the encrusted rum thats somehow escaping from your tear ducts.
So now, if your answer is "Yes! Yeah baby!", then either you're incredibly compassionate and most likely far too good for the rest of humanity, or you're just being untruthful to yourself. If your answer is "Not a whole hell of a lot, really." then you're finally being realistic, and you're in for a suprise which will mean the end of the disappointment you may have been suffering at the hands of the less compassionate and empathetic members of the human race...
Well, if you understand that you're not deserving of love, and you're not getting any; then you're getting all the love which you deserve.
Meaning the end of all the soul-searching, in the larger sense. Once you have that realisation you're free! Free from all the sequential solemnity that plagues everyone with these paranoid issues of love and the human race.
In the historic aftermath of this revelation, I expect everyone to run around their abodes shrieking like lunatics in the perfect farcial moment of being idealistically shallow and trying to uncover some sort of deep inner truth, empathetic embarassment and concealed laughter from the peanut gallery notwithstanding. :)
You should be so lucky.
Most of the deep soul-searching happens when in certain situations people start asking themsleves whether they actually deserve love. While this raises many comples issues on its own, its usually the root of all the bad feeling and insecurity about interpersonal issues. Values of self worth all tend to get questioned as soon as you pop the internal question "Do I deserve love?"
Well, the tree-hugging hippy answer is "Well of course you do!", but if we're going to be serious for a moment, and discount that the goddess which calls for an honouring of all that she has created through gaia and who's call to love each other hums directly through your DNA and other mechanisms, well, lets be serious.
If you're asking yourself this question specifically then there's a chance that the answer could possibly be simply "No." (the band Custard immortalised these words in their song "Girls Like That").
Remember, the lord helps those who help themselves, and its impossible to help yourself unless you're completely honest with yourself... so if the answer to "Do I deserve love?" is a big fat whopping "Yes! Yeah baby! Every day at 5 in the morning, and breakfast in bed after!" -- stop kidding yourself. Go have a drink, calm down, and come back to this thought.
If the answer is an ashamed scared squeaky little "No." that has you cowering in the dark away from any other living person, well then you're on the right track!
Ask then "Why do I expect other people to love me when I don't really deserve love?" well, why indeed? It could be becasue other people are entirely stupid and will love anything as long as its a pretty specimen of... something or other. Or maybe they're just purely dumb and it has no bearing on you whatsoever.
But then again, if people really have the capacity to be that dumb (and they do, even if not on the general basis that I'm implying here), why should anyone care if they're loved or not by people, the bain of every misanthrope's existence? So to continue along this circular train of thought, it might be useful if you're in this state to apply the same circular logic to other areas of your life, say... "I shall get drunk, becasue drunk is the thing to get!"
Which seems to be perfectly sensible when you're in this frame of mind... so; drink up! Have another one! Sure, whatever... gidoff.
So, when you're struggling out of bed and have finished praying to the porcelain god, driving the porcelain bus, etc. Crawl your sorry arse up onto somewhere you can look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, look yourself directly in the eye and ask, in sluggish slurred furry-tongued retarded hangover-speak "How much love do I deserve right now?" Don't bother wiping the drool off your chin, or any of the encrusted rum thats somehow escaping from your tear ducts.
So now, if your answer is "Yes! Yeah baby!", then either you're incredibly compassionate and most likely far too good for the rest of humanity, or you're just being untruthful to yourself. If your answer is "Not a whole hell of a lot, really." then you're finally being realistic, and you're in for a suprise which will mean the end of the disappointment you may have been suffering at the hands of the less compassionate and empathetic members of the human race...
Well, if you understand that you're not deserving of love, and you're not getting any; then you're getting all the love which you deserve.
Meaning the end of all the soul-searching, in the larger sense. Once you have that realisation you're free! Free from all the sequential solemnity that plagues everyone with these paranoid issues of love and the human race.
In the historic aftermath of this revelation, I expect everyone to run around their abodes shrieking like lunatics in the perfect farcial moment of being idealistically shallow and trying to uncover some sort of deep inner truth, empathetic embarassment and concealed laughter from the peanut gallery notwithstanding. :)
