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Do you find the notion that pair-bonding's strong Darwinian evolutionary selection force could be that mammalian females require some protection while breastfeeding disturbing? The reason we have beliefs about reality is so we can still see the best action to take when blinded by doubt, paralysed by fear. Our beliefs define us., just like our memories, without them we are nothing to ourselves, and thus nothing to others.

Low self-esteem can be increased by exposure to relatives. There are a bunch of lies inherent in the social contract, the biggest probably being those concerning attraction; People pretend they don't imagine themselves having sex with other people, and in turn those imaginary sexual partners pretend they don't know the fantasies are going on all around them. This makes both parties feel more civilised. some people do this by faking an interest in others, but this is borderline sociopathy. Better to have real shared interests, which are all about common ground. Find something each party likes or hates, sometimes the best way to connect with someone is to crease concentrating on showing them what you like and focusing on them, at other times it better to focus on yourself.

Being forced to bury painful memories sometimes makes things worse. Grief avoidance can lead to anxiety disorders, which in the worst-case scenario can manifest into physical illnesses. Psychological studies performed after September 11th's attacks in 2001 showed that on statistical average,, repression was in fact better than dwelling in misery. So the best choices for handling negative emotional states seems to be between challenging it into non-existence or discovering a healthy and productive way to let them out - like artistic impulses or constructive conversation.
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Nova Aurata Quiddity

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